Human Again (2026)
Human Again is a symbolic blueprint of one human’s rebirth, a visual monument constructed brick by brick, day by day, through pure willpower in the aftermath of ego death, chronic panic, and technological overstimulation.
At first glance, this intricate piece appears as a surreal architectural labyrinth, a castle built from thousands of subconscious patterns, chaotic lines, and refined structures. But beneath every stroke lies something deeper: the story of healing through relentless discipline.
Born from a period of mental collapse during the COVID crisis, when life stopped, fear overtook reason, and identity dissolved, this artwork captures what it means to rebuild a life not with hope, not with thinking, but with action.
Each line was drawn during moments of extreme anxiety. Every sheet added to this castle was an act of resistance against passivity, an affirmation that even in the darkest states of mind, we can choose to move. It began with five minutes of drawing a day, standing up when even that felt unbearable.
Over months, it became a sacred practice, the ultimate meditation through motion.
This piece doesn’t celebrate perfection. It celebrates showing up, getting out of bed when your mind screams no, touching grass when the walls close in, feeling the pain and choosing to create through it.
It is not about escaping pain. It’s about meeting it. Accepting it. And building anyway.
The castle is not made of stone. It is made of days, hundreds of them. Each day, a decision to take one step forward, no matter how small, no matter how hopeless it seemed.
It is built on the quiet power of choosing discipline over dopamine, grounded effort over fleeting emotion, and embodied action over endless thought loops.
This is not just a drawing. It is a map. A mirror. A monument to the invisible victories that only you can see.
A reminder that discipline is what transforms chaos into structure,
and structure into self, with all its imperfections.
What changes when your work no longer needs to prove you exist, but simply expresses that you do?
This is about building something imperfect that can hold more than just yourself.
Every sheet of paper became another piece. Purely intuitive. I didn’t plan to create a castle, I just drew because I felt like I had to. It gave me something to start from, something simple I could do without too much energy.
Every day, I reflected on how I felt and drew blindly, guided by intuition. And over time, it became a castle.
The discipline expressed on paper became a reflection of the very foundation I was building within my body. The castle is the body.
Here are a few notes I took during the sketching process (the collapse):
2:00 a.m.
Everything is quiet.
Something is wrong.
It feels like the devil found a way into my body… into my castle.
I call emergency services. Again. Again.
“I think I’m dying. My heart… please help.”
I’m crawling on the floor.
Somehow I make it to the ambulance.
They run tests.
Nothing.
They find nothing.
I feel completely alone.
Days After
I don’t understand what’s happening.
I can’t sleep.
It feels like a never-ending panic attack.
I call a friend. He stays on the phone.
I can barely speak.
I cry.
My thoughts are gone. Just chaos.
Calling Home
I call my parents.
They are already struggling.
Now I bring them this.
It feels like I’m draining the last bit of energy they have left.
Guilt.
Weeks Later
I move back in with them.
I can’t live alone anymore.
Days blur together: bed, floor, panic, repeat.
It feels like something is eating me from the inside.
My personality is fading.
I’m floating somewhere unknown.
I hold my parents’ hands.
“This is it.”
I accept death.
And then…
Nothing happens.
I’m still here.
Realization
Wait.
I’m not dying.
If I’m still breathing… then I can handle this.
Even if it feels unbearable.
This must be… ego death.
The first brick is placed.
Following Months
I’m stuck between two worlds.
Part of me still believes I will die.
Another part knows I won’t.
I feel split between personality and something higher.
Practice
I start listening to intuition.
Grass under my feet feels right.
Being inside feels wrong.
Breathing helps.
Holding minerals helps.
It’s like I’ve been given instructions.
A quiet roadmap.
The Urge to Record
Even in panic… I feel the need to express.
To capture this.
Like a language only I understand.
Discipline Begins
Action feels impossible.
All I want is safety and stillness.
But I force myself.
Week 1–2: just stand up.
That’s it.
Routine
Then: stand up, do yoga, go outside.
One month.
No improvement.
Others say they see it.
I don’t.
“Am I broken forever?”
Drawing
I start drawing.
5 minutes a day.
After that, panic again.
But I keep going.
Weeks later: 15 minutes, 30 minutes.
The castle begins.
Random lines. A4 sheets.
Patterns start appearing.
Understanding
If I draw today… I am still moving forward.
Even if I don’t feel it.
So I keep going.
Months pass.
Learning
Therapy. Walking. Reading people.
Health. Psychology. Energy.
I feel completely lost… and more myself than ever.
The Garden
I start volunteering in a vegetable garden.
I can’t go alone.
My parents bring me.
It hurts my pride.
But I go anyway.
There
People are sick. Some are near the end of their lives.
We talk.
I see myself in them.
I see my ego.
I see how much I still have: hope, support, time.
I feel ashamed of my victim mindset.
And grateful.
Decision
I decide to change.
These people show me something real.
They are part of this foundation.
This castle isn’t built alone.
Core Realization
Discipline is everything.
Even standing up counts.
Every moment is a chance to begin again.
Shift
Wrong question: “Will I heal?”
Better: accept now.
Even in pain. Start there.
Years Later
The foundation is strong.
But it needs maintenance.
Discipline never ends.
Meaning of the Work
Before: validation, safety, approval.
Now: I am becoming myself.
Observation
Everything is a reflection.
Nothing is an obstacle.
Everything teaches.
For Young Men
Build for yourself.
Not for approval.
If you help yourself, you help everyone.
Influence
Safe places in my mind:
Scenes from Studio Ghibli films and Venice.
Calm. Human. Timeless.
Dopamine Realization
I was addicted.
Constant stimulation.
My system overloaded.
Then it crashed.
Panic. Detox. Months of it.
Grief. Tension. Release.
After
Patience returns.
Connection returns.
I don’t crave validation anymore.
I feel… grounded.
Question
How much did this addiction shape my life?
I don’t know.
But it led me here.
Technology
Games. Social media. Endless stimulation.
Everything fights for attention.
Not truth. Just engagement.
Challenge
Sit alone.
No phone. No distractions.
Just you.
It’s harder than it sounds.
Truth
Most people are trapped.
They don’t see it.
Awareness can feel lonely… until it connects you to everything.
Balance
Opportunity exists.
So does overload.
Discipline is the balance.
Memory
Life before smartphones felt different.
Grounded.
I found that feeling again.
It wasn’t nostalgia. It was presence.
Quote
A man seeking validation
while trying to define himself
will always be divided.
Final Realization
Thinking helped me understand.
But action changed everything.
Without action, I was trapped in my mind.
Truth
No one can explain what the first real step feels like. If you try to imagine or feel into it you won’t understand.
You have to take it. and experience it.
Mirrors of the Sky 2022, Sold on OBJKT
After six years, the artwork feels finished. I am truly thankful for everyone who supported me during this time, the many realizations, the lessons learned, the self rediscovered, the foundation built.
The thing is, if your castle has a strong foundation and space for others, you will have the space so you can allow others to grow too. Just like people have done for me during times like these. Therefore, trying your best is a universal responsibility. This is why we build.